SCREEN TIME AND LIVING WITH INTENTION

Social Animals. But these days we’re limited in our personal interaction and connection to one another so we’ve turned to the internet. No generation before us had this kind of access in difficult times. But the question arises: Is too much screen time bad for us? Should we spend less time on screens?

Screen time can be productive and connecting. But it can also be an endless cycle of checking, or getting sucked into social media vortexes of mind-numbing, self-medicating uh, stuff. The questions about screen time are the topic of a podcast episode called the Happiness Lab, hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos, a professor of psychology at Yale University. Her guest was Catherine Price, a science journalist, and author of the book How to Break Up with Your Phone. They talked about finding a screen/life balance.

Their most obvious conclusion is that it’s not just about reducing time on screen, but about how our screen time is making us feel.

They advise us to be intentional and curious about our behaviour. How does my particular time on screen make me feel? Catherine Price says, “This can translate into all aspects of life. Paying attention to how I feel in any activity of my life is a really helpful skill to develop. You learn to make choices toward what is productive and creative rather than what is anxiety-provoking and depressing - or even a debilitating habit of escapism.” Being conscious about what we’re exposing ourselves to is very important. Just as exposing yourself to a virus can make you sick, exposing yourself to stressful or anxiety-provoking content can really have an effect on your mental state. And, just like the virus, your mental state can be transmitted to others - especially those you’re sharing close-quarters with. Stay curious. What do you pay attention to? That which produces a calm state of mind or causes activation and an agitated mind?

Screens aren’t going away. We need them even more now for work and connection. If you’d like to listen to specific tips from Catherine Price and Dr. Santos on the Happiness Lab, Here’s the link: Episode 10: Good Screens and Bad Screens

Listening to the podcast got me thinking about the challenges we all face to actually do the work of making changes in our life and relationships.

The quantity and quality of the time we spend on the internet is a relatively small example of the choices we have to make in almost every moment of our daily lives. It seems too obvious to admit that I can relate at a personal level, especially as a relational being. Making daily, almost minute-by-minute decisions from a stance of receptivity instead of being reactive in all kinds of situations demands diligence, perseverance and intentional practice. That is, if one’s goal is to live openly, expansively and free rather than always feeling tight, constricted and fearful. Mine is.

I begin by admitting the obvious - I’m not a totally integrated human being who lives life completely on life’s terms with calm and equanimity. That may be an eyebrow-raising remark coming from someone who people pay to help them with their struggles to get unstuck and live a better life. But I believe, as do most good therapists, that we all have an innate ability to heal. But, and this point is usually missed or ignored: we need help, guidance and support to do virtually everything. Or, in the words of a recovery slogan, “I alone can do it, but I can’t do it alone.” So, these blogs will be a log of my experience practicing the skill of paying attention. and being intentional about choices. I don’t know exactly what the reflections will look like right now. I know they’ll evolve with time.

Hubris? I hope not.

And I hope to avoid Nemesis, or at least have the courage and presence to face whatever I encounter and share the experience with you. Above all, I’ll be relying on my own supports along the way - and I invite you to be among them. I welcome your thoughts and reflections if you’d like to accompany me.

Dale MacIntyre, May 8, 2020